Monday, October 22, 2007

Been there Tried that

Lately this lil bummble bee has been doing the most... between trying to collectivly keep my cool, raise a 2yr old and being pregnate for like ever, I'm just going plain insaine. Sl has been my refuge lately. Keepin me from pulling my hair out. Jellybean tells me about this swanky college in sl she's joined and maan I so want to. Hell, even sent in an application last night. Yet, I still havent herd jack from them.
On another note, I've been havin my ups and downs lately. Relationship wise that is. I liked a guy. Had me really inspired it was a lot for me to even take that step with a friend but ended up right back in the friendzone again. Seems to be the place Imma end up staying for a while. LOL. Stupid friendzone >.< so I did some pics and poetry to vent...

THE GODDESS

The goddess inside me tells me that I need someone powerful by my side
Someone who understands there’s more depth wielded in my self-comfort
Someone who's dependent on the things we both need it LOVE, Friendship and Honesty
A person who I can see myself waiting for
Every goddess has a need, a want, a reaction even
The feeling that create the spark of life inside us driving us to search... wait...
Dust ourselves of and search again
Yet when that goddess takes over and makes us stop looking and see what’s right in front of us
We know in that moment what we want...... LOVE...
The goddess inside me smacked the shit outta me one day
Told me to stop…Stop searching…Start listening
Paying attention to what emotion had mustered inside of me all along
The goddess inside me wants someone like you by her side LOVE.

Thoughts of the Girl Nextdoor

When you let your gaurd down even for a split second things creep in like the slightest hint of feeling love can take you for the ride of ur life and drop you off in the middle of nowhere. You sit there trying to play it cool until the person
You, Me, Us so hard to suppose, consider… believe drives off, your heart (that was ripped from your chest) in one hand the love you knew would never be again in the other hand, a smerk on their face. Your sudden defeat overwhelms you when you think you've collectivly handle the worst. Playing it smart just wasn't enough. That wall they spoke of should have never been torn down. Sidetracked you see everything you wanted snatched from your very grasp. Yet still you go on with a smile. Some small hope you givein to only to watch it washed away soft yet sweet bitter kisses left on your lips. A cutting tongue that was sharper then any knife that would graze your skin. Do u remain just friends or let go of whatever lil actuality could have been consieved there. It would have been better to be given a chance and find out it didnt then not one at all.

I'm completly content at this moment with where I am. On a lighter note though I got accepted to KSU. HOW SPECTACULAR IS THAT! MAMA IMMA GENIOUS! lol.
smoochiepoos gotta get my tush there and see whats up....